To break out of the closed circle of dependence on substance, game or relations with another person is quite real, but on one condition. The dependent has to learn to live happily, it is impossible differently-otherwise they will break. But if they manage to establish an interesting life without additional stimulation, it becomes brighter and more saturated than most “healthy people”.
How to understand when the “hobby” develops dependence? If the child manages at school, visits mugs, finds time on a hobby, communicates with friends, performs house duties, but at the same time sometimes “hangs” in a smartphone, the gadget in this case acts only as a pleasant application to life. But if study begins to suffer, interest in previous hobbies is lost, parents should think.
In the dependent, everything is subordinated to the subject of dependence, whether it be a substance, game or relationship with another person. The usual rhythm is broken: a person spends more and more time on the “object of passion”, cutting down the clock, work, care of himself. The circle of communication is changing. Passionately enthusiastic about something or someone as if drawing into another reality. And now we have a different person – closed, irritable, and sometimes aggressive.
The adult is changing – children absorb
“The most powerful motivation to work on yourself – for addicted people,” explains the psychologist Natalya Pyzhyanova. – Perhaps they achieve tangible results, because they are simply forced to learn to live high quality. Next to them there is always dependence – chronic, progressive, fatal disease, and they know that if you do nothing with this, they are waiting for one of the three options for the development of events: prison, hospital or death. So adults have to learn skills, quite natural for the majority: to listen to themselves and talk about their feelings, plan actions and analyze actions, build close relationships, take care of yourself and others ”.
And when adults learn this, for those who are nearby, this does not pass without a trace. The results of this process are clearly visible in children’s groups: the guys are less anxious, freely and naturally speak of their feelings. “Dad said that we must say, I say,” explains 15-year-old Svetlana. Her dad is a recovering drug addict,
the term of “purity”, as addicted to each other, is 9 years. And Sveta freely, enclosing others, not accustomed to children and adults, shares her feelings in class: she is insulting that someone released a stinging comment about an unsuccessful drawing, she is annoyed if they interrupt and do not let the thought end.